Firsties, beware. This is a common malady of Mount Holyoke Women. Yes, we are intelligent, creative, uncommon, invested, academic women. We are also driven women. Ripe and healthful from a golden summer, we return to campus spilling-over streams of aspiration that run together in a red and gold and blue and green flood. It sluices down the steps of the amphitheater, agitated by our collective energies: the shouts and rumbling chants. It washes over the stage in vibrant greetings and speeches. It colors the air and fills our ears until the whole of South Hadley – no! – The whole of the world knows that once again, we, the NOW women of Mount Holyoke, have gathered to do something greater for the world at hand.
So we begin our doings: class, fourth hours, sports, theater, ensembles, cultural clubs, political and environmental activism, work, workshops, homework, parties, panels, papers, memorials, hikes, small group discussions, brunch, bus rides to Amherst, weekends in Boston…Am I forgetting anything? Oh yes, sleeping. Some of us enjoy the rare activity of sleeping.
Like an endangered species, sleep is a sickly and spare figure, one that makes itself nigh invisible on our campus. Unfortunately, if you do not find this mythical creature often enough or linger in its presence long enough, you’re likely to become sickly and spare yourself (I’ve heard of rare sightings on the info commons couches as well as in the grass on sunny, lethargically warm weekend afternoons).
Before I know it, that stack of books really is too high, six classes is obscenely too much, working in multiple orgs means serving several offices, ensembles require outside rehearsal practice. Suddenly I wonder where the time went. It’s 10pm and students are just zipping up their book bags to begin the trek to the library. Nothing is as simple as it sounded at the beginning of the term. Where did all the empty blocks in my calendar disappear to? Did the Wilder ghost eat digits off my watch? I’m pretty sure it was only 6:30pm ten minutes ago. The calendar is crunched.
How do I know this? Why write about it? Because I have done this without fail every single one of my semesters so far. I return to school, memories of the hectic semester before waxing vague. But I have both determination to succeed and boundaries to sustain myself! At least that’s what I like to think. So I keep that calendar as blank as I can, promising that this semester will be different. I will not over-commit; I will get enough sleep; I will not go to bed too late; I will come prepared to class every time; I will not procrastinate; I will practice piano. But “all” that blank space misleads me into thinking I have enough spare time to start handing it out like overstocks. It’s as though I’m afraid to sit still, afraid to have a little time, afraid of not being busy, afraid that if I’m not “productive” (or at least making myself believe I’m being productive) then I’m being useless and unworthy of the scholarship that brought me here.
The 31st of August I clumsily missed a few steps while carrying my suitcase down a narrow flight of steps while on my way home from a summer in Ethiopia. Though I only skipped three of the stairs before crashing to the floor, an assessment of the damage included one bruised knee, one cracked step, and a broken toe. The break required that I drop my three dance classes as well as any hope of auditioning for a dance team or returning to sports this semester. It also required that I spend the next few weeks on crutches. As a runner and a dancer, I don’t have patience for painful peculiarities such as broken toes, but shake it as I might, it always sifted out the same: crutches, a boot, and pain killers. I was not going to be dancing. The shift opened up holes in my schedule I’d never seen before and instead of rushing to cram them with activities, I decided to let them be for the time. Crutches are definitely not an efficient of desirable means of transport. Just getting places can be an activity.
Since this forced slow-down, I have been experiencing life in a way I never knew before. I had the time to hear Darlingside in the Great Room the other evening. I can afford to read my astronomy text in depth, do further research, and actually grasp the material. I don’t fear taking the luxury of letting friends interrupt my homework to catch up. It doesn’t feel like a sin to give an hour to my voice and piano practice. For once I’m not breathless with anxiety about getting to the next place for the next fill-in-the-blank.
Though I’m off the crutches now, I’m not in any rush to, well, rush. I’m not making too many promises. I’m holding my boundaries better because I have had enough sleep and enough achievable days to know I like peace far too much to relinquish it to the pressure of a faceless force urging me to do more. I can do more with the less that I’ve committed to right now and that’s fine with me!
How to avoid your own hectic hell without breaking a toe, you ask?
- Start by knowing that everything, and I mean everything, is going to take longer than you expect, whether it’s emails, org meetings, lunch, health center appointments, whatever.
- Considering the above, factor in “margin time,” those extra minutes that allow you to check in with a friend who’s having a bad day, or find another printer because yours isn’t working.
- Start small, go big. Challenge yourself to give a lot in only a few areas and see how you feel as compared to being stretched thin over many areas. Commit to working hard for one org for a semester. See where it takes you. If you feel finished at the end of the semester, then move on.
- Keep a list of classes/activities you would like to be a part of during your time at Mount Holyoke. Instead of stacking them all, trade one for another each semester until you find yourself settled in one.
- Set a timer about an hour before you want to be in bed. It will remind you to start wrapping up. Set another one for half another before sleep as another check that you’re in you’re in your PJs.
- When you are already over-committed, don’t be afraid to step out of something (like that extra org). But do it sooner rather than later! Peple aren’t going to hate your for taking care of yourself, however, they may well be annoyed if you ditch them at the last second.
- Finally, college is not a contest of endurance. You may not get to do everything you wanted to do during your time here, but seriously prioritize, and enjoy those things that you do get to do while you are doing them.
Chill out! And have a breathable semester.
So we begin our doings: class, fourth hours, sports, theater, ensembles, cultural clubs, political and environmental activism, work, workshops, homework, parties, panels, papers, memorials, hikes, small group discussions, brunch, bus rides to Amherst, weekends in Boston…Am I forgetting anything? Oh yes, sleeping. Some of us enjoy the rare activity of sleeping.
Like an endangered species, sleep is a sickly and spare figure, one that makes itself nigh invisible on our campus. Unfortunately, if you do not find this mythical creature often enough or linger in its presence long enough, you’re likely to become sickly and spare yourself (I’ve heard of rare sightings on the info commons couches as well as in the grass on sunny, lethargically warm weekend afternoons).
Before I know it, that stack of books really is too high, six classes is obscenely too much, working in multiple orgs means serving several offices, ensembles require outside rehearsal practice. Suddenly I wonder where the time went. It’s 10pm and students are just zipping up their book bags to begin the trek to the library. Nothing is as simple as it sounded at the beginning of the term. Where did all the empty blocks in my calendar disappear to? Did the Wilder ghost eat digits off my watch? I’m pretty sure it was only 6:30pm ten minutes ago. The calendar is crunched.
How do I know this? Why write about it? Because I have done this without fail every single one of my semesters so far. I return to school, memories of the hectic semester before waxing vague. But I have both determination to succeed and boundaries to sustain myself! At least that’s what I like to think. So I keep that calendar as blank as I can, promising that this semester will be different. I will not over-commit; I will get enough sleep; I will not go to bed too late; I will come prepared to class every time; I will not procrastinate; I will practice piano. But “all” that blank space misleads me into thinking I have enough spare time to start handing it out like overstocks. It’s as though I’m afraid to sit still, afraid to have a little time, afraid of not being busy, afraid that if I’m not “productive” (or at least making myself believe I’m being productive) then I’m being useless and unworthy of the scholarship that brought me here.
The 31st of August I clumsily missed a few steps while carrying my suitcase down a narrow flight of steps while on my way home from a summer in Ethiopia. Though I only skipped three of the stairs before crashing to the floor, an assessment of the damage included one bruised knee, one cracked step, and a broken toe. The break required that I drop my three dance classes as well as any hope of auditioning for a dance team or returning to sports this semester. It also required that I spend the next few weeks on crutches. As a runner and a dancer, I don’t have patience for painful peculiarities such as broken toes, but shake it as I might, it always sifted out the same: crutches, a boot, and pain killers. I was not going to be dancing. The shift opened up holes in my schedule I’d never seen before and instead of rushing to cram them with activities, I decided to let them be for the time. Crutches are definitely not an efficient of desirable means of transport. Just getting places can be an activity.
Since this forced slow-down, I have been experiencing life in a way I never knew before. I had the time to hear Darlingside in the Great Room the other evening. I can afford to read my astronomy text in depth, do further research, and actually grasp the material. I don’t fear taking the luxury of letting friends interrupt my homework to catch up. It doesn’t feel like a sin to give an hour to my voice and piano practice. For once I’m not breathless with anxiety about getting to the next place for the next fill-in-the-blank.
Though I’m off the crutches now, I’m not in any rush to, well, rush. I’m not making too many promises. I’m holding my boundaries better because I have had enough sleep and enough achievable days to know I like peace far too much to relinquish it to the pressure of a faceless force urging me to do more. I can do more with the less that I’ve committed to right now and that’s fine with me!
How to avoid your own hectic hell without breaking a toe, you ask?
- Start by knowing that everything, and I mean everything, is going to take longer than you expect, whether it’s emails, org meetings, lunch, health center appointments, whatever.
- Considering the above, factor in “margin time,” those extra minutes that allow you to check in with a friend who’s having a bad day, or find another printer because yours isn’t working.
- Start small, go big. Challenge yourself to give a lot in only a few areas and see how you feel as compared to being stretched thin over many areas. Commit to working hard for one org for a semester. See where it takes you. If you feel finished at the end of the semester, then move on.
- Keep a list of classes/activities you would like to be a part of during your time at Mount Holyoke. Instead of stacking them all, trade one for another each semester until you find yourself settled in one.
- Set a timer about an hour before you want to be in bed. It will remind you to start wrapping up. Set another one for half another before sleep as another check that you’re in you’re in your PJs.
- When you are already over-committed, don’t be afraid to step out of something (like that extra org). But do it sooner rather than later! Peple aren’t going to hate your for taking care of yourself, however, they may well be annoyed if you ditch them at the last second.
- Finally, college is not a contest of endurance. You may not get to do everything you wanted to do during your time here, but seriously prioritize, and enjoy those things that you do get to do while you are doing them.
Chill out! And have a breathable semester.
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