March 18, 2008 - Family Sketch, Part I

Sheridan Rose  

    Little Sheridan Rose is no longer our diminutive copper-headed dandelion but rather a flourishing lupine in every sense – tall, colorful, a breath of fresh air, and especially fond of the Maine bay. She is last of the Original Four to step into teen-age-hood, though much more responsible than most of us were at her age. In addition to her 6^th grade studies of planets, journalism, and pre-algebra Sheridan works as a dog caretaker, walking three golden retrievers and a rottweiler, heads up The Winter Wonder Club (a four member, kid-directed group that raises money for the New Engand Kewsick summer camp scholarship fund),  hammers the local basketball courts in the post (22 points this season!), while still managing to read every book in sight – twice. She is in her sixth year on the piano and uses her sharp skills to accompany friends in concert. This Christmas she and a group of self-directed girls performed “Night of Silence” and “Once Small Child” as part of the annual Messiah concert. It is not unusual to hear this little lark sing while at the keys. This spring you can look for this rare species in her favored habitats, the dirt roads, kitchens, and softball fields of muddy Massachusetts. She is mostly likely to be puddle stomping or baking something or catching fly balls.

 Stephon X. Z.

            Stephon X. Z. McAlister. Ladies and gentlemen it is indeed official. Stephon is no longer a denizen of the Atlantic but a true American citizen. Though, for a little while there we wondered when Burkina Faso relinquished him but America did not yet except him. On the 24 of January, 2008, amongst long over-due ceremonies, the United States of America recognized Stephon as not only an American citizen, but a McAlister as well.

            As we are all aware from the stories of the migrant-generation, part of the American experience is that start from the bottom when no one knows you and you know no one. All titles, degrees, societal statuses, and prior recognitions belong to the past and former homeland. Coming here is the eraser on the blackboard. Perhaps because of his age, or perhaps because a certain strong, no, indomitable, will, Stephon is having a bit of trouble relinquishing certain elements of his past, namely the fact that he is of royal blood. “Here in America,” my parents continually explain, “we don’t have kings. We have presidents and congressmen.” We hope he will eventually understand the concept of the popular vote and so behave accordingly; ie, we would love to have him assimilate with the family and make a few friends.

            Due to his rough and undeserved past, Stephon is having some difficulty with this. After his recent diagnoses of RAD, the family enrolled in a program at the Attachment Institute of New England in order to create the support he needs in order to learn to regulate himself. Reactive attachment disorder, a common occurrence among adopted children, is a failure to form normal attachments to primary caregivers in early childhood due to a number of factors including neglect, abuse, and abrupt separation from caregivers when the child is between the ages of six months and three years. The result is that these children show disturbed and developmentally inappropriate ways of relating socially in most contexts. This includes lack of eye contact, frequent and heavy tantrums, manipulative behaviors, extremely destructive tendencies, and a host of other symptoms. Despite this diagnosis, or perhaps in light of it, the family has great hope to see him settle in over the next few years as he discovers his role in our unit and learns to love and value himself as well as others. He is one of us and we love him dearly.

            At the moment no one is quite sure where his likings will take him. Stephon is a tough and sturdy build with the body of a little super man at the ripe age of 6. He also has an insatiable appetite for good food and thinks on little else. The highlight of our summer visit to Maine was a dinner of fresh lobsters that he himself helped to choose. Because Stephon thinks of all great experiences in the context of food dad has begun to wonder if we might find him happily cooking his way through the great kitchens of America as a chef in another decade or two. Watch out Biba Caggiano!